HOW MY WORK LOOSENED UP, THE STORY OF DAISY.

Welcome to my first ever blog post! How exciting. I’ve been talking about getting around to this for years. I’m so delighted you’re here for it. I’ve always been unsure of where to start, but I’ll happily dive right into the messy middle.

I was in the studio on a typical day for me. The kids were at school, and I had the peace and quiet I not only crave but require to settle into my creative practice. I was just getting back in the flow of studio time after taking a break all summer to focus on my girls. I had spent the majority of the day wrestling with tiny brushes and meticulous detail work on some cow paintings, and my brain was tired. I wanted to paint just for the joy of it. I wanted to remember why I love painting. It felt like I had been doing things the hard way for so long, and I wanted to feel free. So I set myself the challenge of loosening up, playing, and having FUN.

I decided I would use a little 5”x5” canvas panel because they were basically free, so there was no pressure for it to be a masterpiece. It didn’t need to be good; it just needed to be. So I settled on painting my favorite duck, Daisy. I love the way she’s in charge and bosses the other ducks around. She has so much personality and always lets out a loud warning when she sees me. I raised her from two days old. I also chose here because she’s white. White is probably the most fun color to paint. On its face, it’s simple. Basic. Expected. But it isn’t at all. White is every color. It reflects. It can be cool in the shadows and warm in the highlights. It can be yellow, brown, purple, turquoise, anything! I love that. So I was delighted to push this knowledge into my little painting. I told myself to really explore color in the shadows and highlights.

Another parameter I set: no tracing. I had to trust myself. I had to trust that I could semi-accurately draw a duck. And if I couldn’t? Well, so be it. Again, it didn’t have to be good; it just had to be. The last “rule”? No tiny fussy brushes. I didn’t want detail work. I already know detail. I eat, sleep, and breathe it. That tight, white-knuckle grip spills over into nearly every aspect of my life. I didn’t want more of that.

So I set out to paint. I grabbed my medium square brushes, loaded my palette with turquoise and magenta, and set out to be someone different for a few quiet moments. And so I began. Timid at first, loosely sketching the form with my brush. As the image emerged, I felt a bit more confident, and frankly, relieved. I didn’t suck! That might seem laughable, given I’d been painting for 20 years at this point. But I was truly surprised I could do it. From there, I pushed. I splashed paint on quickly, before I could overthink it. I mixed colors and went in relying on instinct and years of habits.

At the end, I felt worried I would ruin a good thing with the background. What to do? Go bold and compete with the subject? Go dull and kill it? In the end, I guess I opted out of a decision at all. I grabbed from a pile of paint I had mixed up earlier in the day for the other “serious” painting. A mix of my beloved Prussian blue and raw umber. It was perfect! A fantastic balance. I set my brushes down and marveled. I had done it! I had finally loosened up! The skill had always eluded me. I basically said screw it. Screw the expectations I have and the ones I imagine others have for my work. I just painted for the joy of it. And it showed! It was fun, playful, and colorful. And when I posted it, it had such a positive response. It was a real turning point in my art.

From there, I went on to create a whole barn animal series, which has a major connection to my country life on our farm. I painted our bunnies, goats, and rooster. I took the technique and started integrating it into my other work. I now find so much more joy in my art practice. I’m grateful to Daisy for paving the way. Oh, and we now have a flock of 18 ducks because they bring me such joy!

With love,

Erica